setting the record straight
recently, i begun the process of setting the record straight. i find that so many people tell so many lies. for example, my sister-in-law has been lying for years about how i feel about her. she believed that i didn't like her because she was "light skinned." how weak. she came to this conclusion because when she found out my brother was cheating on her with a darker skinned sister, she called the woman ugly. when i responded to her comment by saying, "light skinned women get on my nerves always thinking because they are light skinned that they are prettier than darker skinned women." she held onto that comment for twenty years, and recently brought it up. when she did, it stunned me that she had been walking around for twenty years with that. but, the thing that tripped me up the most was her misquoting me and believing i didn't like her because she was "light skinned." so she has been telling my niece that i was jealous of her too because she is "light skinned." and, we have all this tension because of the lies. can people please get a life?
the thing that she isn't telling my niece is that the real reason we have tension between us is because she allowed my brother to screw her while we were staying in the same hotel room. i was sleeping in the bed next to them, and then, i hear, you know. i couldn't believe that they thought so little of themselves that they would have sex with another person in the room with them. does this sound like some white girl shit? by her participating in this act, she allowed herself to be disrespected. i told her that my brother was telling her that she was trifling and didn't care about herself. i told her don't be mad with me because she didn't have any discipline. why couldn't she wait until i wasn't in the room? or better yet, why didn't my brother get another room? he worked at the hotel.
are we still stuck in the craziness where light skinned women still believe that because they are light skinned they have something that dark skinned women don't have? or that they believe they are more special? i mean, my brother showed her that she wasn't special and that she didn't bring anything that any other woman didn't have to the table. if light skin is all that some women believe they need, we are in a sad state.
another factor has to do with her education level--she has one year of college. and, she says "bought," when she means "brought." can someone get a college degree so she can feel worthy?
posted by MoonGoddess @ 9/27/2005 04:20:00 PM
7 Comments:
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That whole color mentality dates back to the slave days. Where the light skin black women were the house negroes, while the dark skin women worked the fields. It amazes me that this mentality still exist today. It's like we, people of color, are racists amongst each other. It seems to me that she's angry or even jealous at dark skin women because her husband cheated on her with one. Can you imagine being told taht you are prettier or have more then a dark skin person only to have that "reality" crushed into pieces one day? I think that's what she's going through. My philosophy is that a person who expresses anger toward someone needs to look within themselves, because the truth is they are really mad at themselves. If she decides to take that journey, she might realize that she probably doesn't like herself and is projecting that feeling on you.
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moongoddess, i can feel your anger and i understand it. i question whether you have directed it in all the directions necessary though. i know your brother is your brother, but he disrespected you also by having sex with her in the same room you were sleeping in. also, i see you call her your sister in law. are her and your brother still married? if they are, isn't it time you let go of the past and your anger? you will feel a lot lighter for it.
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Hmm...I think that the sex incident showed a lack of respect to all concerned. It was in extremely poor taste & very trashy. However, I have one little problem with the implication that white women demean themselves more than other women. All women can be slutty, it is an individual action. No stereotypes, please.
Now about the light-skinned stuff. While there are light-skinned women who undoubtedly feel superiority towards their darker counterparts, not all are like this, as I'm sure you know. Maybe she really did think the woman was unattractive compared to herself and it may or may not have been because the woman had darker skin. It may have been more of a "looks" thing, not about color. And your brother did cheat on her so she may have said that out of hurt or anger. I'm guessing that you're probably dark-skinned as well & her comment about the woman being "ugly" hit a nerve, so you reacted with a comment of your own about light-skinned women. Light-skinned women have to deal with certain attitudes & assumptions about their skin color from other black women very often, so she probably took that one comment to mean that you dislike all light-skinned women. She doesn't sound like a nice person anyway, so it's more of an individual problem with her attitude than with her complexion.
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